The diary of a doll

10 November, 2004
9:39 p.m.

N
Listening to: H.I.M.: Poison Girl
Mood:

Damn, remind me to do something about my schedule because it's been a mess since we changed the time. So what's new? I'm far too busy and I want, no make that need some vacations. Going to a couple of parties actually sounds like a good idea. Spending some time with friends while things are not that calm and the energy flows a bit pretty please?

Anyway I was contacted by someone, lets call him N... for nose. If you've ever met N you know why I mention his nose. Well N contacted me, now for reference I used to be in an on off relationship with N, this lasted around two years. He was my first in many thins and he is quite a jerk. Now the thing with N is the same way he can be a jerk he is also a charmer when he wants to. Even his mother told me that once, I think I should've paid more attention to her words. I remember she didn't really like me, she thought my hair was a sign of trying to be a rebel. She isn't very bright, my hair has never been a sign of that even if it's fun how people react to wild curly hair. I'm drifting too much from topic so back to N. He contacted me and he said "I want to be your champion". I know what he means (I think), he's using it as a term for prince charming (I think). Either that or he has been listening to Queen a lot lately (bingo!). He ranted on and on about the virtues of us being together and said that "whenever he's walking down the street he just expects to find me, he sees me in every corner and compares me to every girl he meets". I admit there was a time this could've had an effect on me but he's really late.

The thing is I don't feel anything, not a thing. I don't even feel like hurting him for how he made me feel countless times. None of that matters anymore. There's nothing left, zip, zero, nada. I have mentioned this to him on more than one occasion but he is set in his ways. He went ahead and asked me to move in with him, he said he would marry me. This isn't the first time he mentions marriage after our last break-up. Is it really so hard for a man to understand that where there was fire once there aren't ashes necessarily? (Fuck if he can use clichés, so can I.) They were all swept away by erm... the broom of time and the place was cleaned by... by.... the mop of... of oblivion!!! Yeah the mop of oblivion, only $9.95 in a store near you.

Kisses from your I-really-know-better devilish diva; DiscoDoll

Your Cloak is Red. You Lust for
Blood.

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Pain/Pleasure