The diary of a doll

10 October, 2004
9:15 p.m.

Busy
Listening to: Jack Off Jill: When I Am Queen
Mood:

I swear one day my mind's gonna run out of ideas. You see one of the projects I'm involved in is a group. The group has a lovely bunch of people, they're all quite interesting and could bring many great things to the group. There's a little problem though, most of them don't even participate. There's a rather small group that does but very few bring in new ideas so most of the topics that come up are from my behalf. All of this is perfectly ok up to some point I mean I would love to see others participate more and bring new topics but I can manage as it is. The bad thing is that sooner or later I'm afraid I'm going to run out of ideas and topics. If that happens I fear that the group will just fall. See where I'm getting at? I know being a member does not make it a requirement to participate but it would still be so nice....

Oh well, something more interesting for you guys. I promised I would touch a deeper subject today and I guess by now you know why it's so hard to come up with more ideas than I already do but I'll try my best. So what about the actions the Chinese government is taking against porn? Eh never mind, that's a sucky topic. Maybe the topic should be friendship. My circle of friends is rather small and again most of them if not all are outside of the mainstream. I'm afraid that with all that's going on right now I haven't had enough time for any of them. I'm making some mayor changes in my life and sometimes that has me so busy, stressed or tired that I just don't seem to have enough time for my friends. I don't want them to think they're forgotten or that they're not important but I'm so damn packed. The few moments of completely free time that I have I usually just want to either sleep or kick back, relax and spend time with my family.

Some of my friends actually read this diary so I have to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I haven't been around as much as I should. I'm sorry that when I'm around many times I seem distracted. I'm sorry to not be such a good friend right now, at least I don't feel like I am. I promise I'll try harder and after things slow down I'll have more time to give to you guys. Maybe it all seems like a bunch of excuses but I'm being honest here. It's just that working on doing a mayor overhaul in your life is actually quite absorbing. I can't say I'll try harder right now because I am trying as hard as I can without going crazy(er). If any of you need me though you know that many times a quick mail will make me "magically" appear out of nowhere. I hope to see all of you soon so please be patient for now, you're not forgotten.

Kisses from your sometimes-far-too-busy devilish diva; Disco Doll

You are Ghost.

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Pain/Pleasure