The diary of a doll

12 May, 2004
8:06 p.m.

Hatred
Listening to: Gackt: Another World
Mood:

Nowadays I don't really like watching the news, all I get to see are things that depress me. You get to see all that death and destruction, all that hate. Actually hate is most likely the best word to describe it. This group of people hate that group of people soy they act on it and now they hate each other deeply enough to die in order to prove a point. It's saddening because in the end no one wins a thing, it all becomes a loose-loose situation and people tend to be so deep into their hatred that they don't realize this. Two of the biggest reasons for hatred among people are race and belief. Now I wont go into the belief thing because it is too tricky and things can get ugly really quickly if you misplace a word. I have been subject of hatred due to belief. In a country where the primary religion is Catholicism you are not that loved if you practice paganism. Because in the end even Feng Shui leads you to the devil you see? So lets skip that and go with race.

I have met neo-nazis and pro-white power people. In the end it all sounds the same for me but they make a clear distinction between themselves. Lets take in count here that I'm latin-american, sure I am quite fair-skinned and if you hear me talk you probably wouldn't notice the typical latin accent but in the end I'm latin and I've never been afraid to admit it. Ok maybe a bit afraid sometimes but at least not ashamed. Now the neo-nazi was Mexican oohh but he had German blood. So what? I have Irish blood and you don't see me celebrating St. Patrick's day. The man was really proud of his German heritage which if you ask me it didn't show anywhere... not even in his last name. When I met him I found out there are a good amount of latin neo-nazis. They're far from the Arian perfection but they're still neo-nazis and damn proud of it. This shouldn't surprise me really though I mean General Peron (yes Evita's husband) was a great Hitler admirer. A good amount of German and Italian nazis immigrated to Argentina after WWII. So you could see some support going on over there, at least from part of the authorities. Here well... I know a guy that was invited to form part of a neo-nazi group when he was in high school. Lovely, isn't it? Now with the pro-white power guy that I met. Well he saw my skin-color and asked me if I was kidding when I mentioned being Mexican. After asking about my ancestors he came to the conclusion that I was white and I had been born in Mexico by chance. How did he do it? To this day I'm not sure. After this extensive mind process he tried to get into my pants. You see if I was white then there was no problem if he could score. I just love the way things change when some men think with something else other than their heads.

The only man that has really used a racial slur aimed towards me was a drunk English man after I rejected his advances and even then he didn't use the right terms and had lost a lot of credibility at this point. Still it's not always easy saying you're from this or that country or from this or that race when you know what a big subject you are towards discrimination.

Anyway back to hatred, this is a feeling I try to avoid. I've been asked why (hiya!) and the best answer I can come up with is because it hurts me more than it can hurt anyone else. Your average person nowadays doesn't tend to do much if they hate someone or something. They just live with their hatred and maybe sometimes exteriorize it in other ways. Who is that feeling hurting then? Not the object of their hatred because there is a good chance that either they don't notice, don't care or push the person to a point where they can exploit that hatred. Who does it hurt then if not the person that hates and the people close to this person? I don't need a feeling like that to dictate how I do some things in my life or to let it hurt the people I love. I don't need a feeling like that to become part of me, I have enough issues to deal with as it is. I prefer to just deal with things some other way. There's always a better way other than hate.

Kisses from your maybe-a-bit-weird devilish diva; Disco Doll

You're Ireland!

Mystical and rain-soaked, you remain mysterious to many people, and this makes you intriguing. You also like a good night at the pub, though many are just as worried that you will blow up the pub as drink your beverage of choice. You're good with words, remarkably lucky, and know and enjoy at least fifteen ways of eating a potato. You really don't like snakes.
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Pain/Pleasure