The diary of a doll

23 May, 2003
11:47 p.m.

Love
Listening to: Ricardo Cocciante: Mal
Mood:

Love, such a simple word not like grandiloquence or omnium gatherum Yet it means so much when used honestly; else it is just a hollow word. Scientifically it is just a chemical reaction similar to the one you get when you eat chocolate. Now ask anyone that has loved and that person will disagree. Poets, philosophers, painters, musicians, writers etc. have tried to express the feeling through different ways and still there's always more. Sometimes it can come out like a feeling overload; too much to just be expressed with words. Other times though it is completely serene and still so fulfilling. It is really amazing how can love take the best and worst out of us; how can it out biggest weakness and also our greatest strength.

"It is better to have love and lost than never to have loved" maybe it is a cliché but I agree. After all those tears and disappointments I can honestly say I am glad I loved. What makes it better is that now I love again. It is not the same exact feeling but it is not the same person either and I’ve grown up. Doesn't means it is less magical or intense, it still strips me down emotionally and leaves me vulnerable towards my beloved one. I think that when you love and you're loved you should be able to open yourself to show your weaknesses, to trust completely. Unfortunately many don't reach that state again due to bad experiences in the past. Don't take me wrong I still get afraid sometimes but it is worth it.

Then we can't forget other kinds of love the romantic-love is great but not the only one. There's motherly love, the love you get in a friendship, brotherly love, religious love and so on; all enchanting in their own way. All of them can make you smile and cry. How many things would a good mother do for her own child? Many times they could be wrong in the approach they take, no one is perfect, but still they do it with the best of intentions.

Talking about mothers I have to say through time I learned my mother was right (yes parents can be right), you can't love someone if you don't love yourself first. Also you can't expect others to do for you what you can't do for yourself. When you are in a deep depression and you are suicidal your friends can be there for you, your love, your family, you may even search in religion but if you don't have the will to get yourself out of that then all that won't help you. Yes I know it is easier to say it than to actually do it and to others it may seem a lie. I am not the holder of the truth, no one is. And this is just one point of view in a world full of people. What I do know is that love is one of the most wonderful and sublime experiences you can go through and a great feeling, complex and beautiful. Also I have to say I am a hopeless romantic and I think love can tear you down to pieces as well as take you to heaven. It is sometimes so painful, even when things are ok it hurts to love. A small price for such a great feeling. Now I am young and still have a world of things to learn but I wanted to express myself and let others see my point of view. Who knows it might help someone. I could go on and on and still not be able to completely describe love, doubt anyone can do that. So for now I leave you with this rant. Hope you enjoyed it or it helped you in some way.

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